Empty Bottle

The bottle is for the unwinding, now I've got mine,
drink till the bottom, do you want some?
If it weren't for the phone call, me alone I would fall back.
Sack the time we can drink your favorite wine.

In the drift of it all we have our fun,
tip and sip I know you like it that way.
Say I don't remember the last time you and I stayed up all night.
We already know we'll be up till the morning shines.

When did it become so difficult to come together?
Till the year started going so fast, we thought we had forever.
Everyday we move closer to that someplace, somewhere, hopefully over the rainbow.
With courage we keep ourselves propped up high,
don't fly to low, never let go of your own flow.

Sway from side to side, play that beat you like.
Sing with me all night, the bottle will keep you right.

Lost In Depth

    I had become a police officer with high hopes, plans to arrive to a position in which to involve myself to a degree that would serve the people at a noble and respectable level. All I really got years into my dedication was a parole car, a cheap desk, and a salary to pay the bills. My work had become like a tedious and every day job, maybe worse, I felt lost in a daily grind which was a depth below extraordinary. It hadn't been this way before, I had been fueled with motivation and persistence, because I believed I could make happen for myself and the community I served whatever it was that was deemed right, to bring forth victory in our stride. Perhaps this place had something of a problem that for unknown reasons would attach itself to the unsuspecting, un-involved law enforcement officer that I had become.
    It was a fatal accident that threw the course of my focus off the rails of the track I thought was to be my life's path. I had married to a girl in town that was for certain the sweetest, and most caring around, keeping me more than just happy. At the time I was advancing towards a lateral role when me and my Wife had our child, a baby girl. It made me feel as if I had a new calling in life, to raise this child as if it were to be my last, unfortunately that came to be true.
    On a gloomy day in May, we packed baskets with fresh baked bread, cheeses, meats, and sparkling drinks, then we drove to a park to pass the Sunday in pleasure & peace. It was in a moment of distraction, my Wife and I argued jokingly, that our 18-month old daughter wandered towards the road that stretched out not far from where we sat under the shade of a tree. I remember hearing the vehicle approaching when my Wife's expression turned from joy to horror as she burst into shout, "Lexi!" she screamed. I turned, jumping to my feet with not a second to think, but it was too late, she was a foot away from the pavement. I lunged myself forward, running towards her while shouting her name as if it were to bring her to a halt, "Lexi! Lexi!" I shouted. The last thing I remember was the shadow of a man from the corner of my eye as I dove into the street after her. The car slammed it's brakes, and the screeching was the last I heard.
    I awoke from a coma two weeks after the accident, my daughter died shortly after we were rushed to the hospital, the details of her condition are too gruesome to say, and so grueling for me to explain. Everything went down hill from there, I was no longer proving efficient at work, and our lives felt entrenched in a shadow that seemed to swallow us. In my Wife's eyes reflected the same cold, sorrow look I had on mine, our lives a tragedy, a dream sought but lost. Most nights I dreamed of a dark place, nothing was visible, but I could hear my daughter screaming for me, "Daddy! Daddy I'm here!", but I could never find her. A feeling began to grow on me, a feeling that she was still out there, existing in a place somewhere between now and the after, a place from which there was no return.
    It was a late night, lightning rang above, it lit the dark sky, and rain poured heavily, clinking when it hit the roof of my patrol car. I was simply driving a routine route, an older industrial area of town when I came across a lot that had been empty for some time. Young teens staying out too late have been known to break into these lots, hoping to have fun getting intoxicated in the dark sheltered space away from public. As I drove around the property, I could see a light somewhere inside glow dimly, just as I simultaneously saw out of the corner of my eye a door which gave entrance inside swing shut.
    I stepped out of the cruiser into the rain, and then through the door. It was dark inside, a darkness that was strangely thick like fog, insomuch that my flashlight only carried for a couple feet in front of me. There was an odor that smelt like engine grime, and there was an echo to my step as if the walls were a mile apart. It felt like my dream, and a part of me began to question whether or not it was.
    I saw a light once more, so I walked towards the faint glow. "Daddy!", my daughter's scream came to me now in this dark place, then a confusion came over me like a haze. Again I could hear her, "Daddy! Daddy I'm here!", it came from the dim glow of light. I called her name, "Lexi!" I shouted, but then the light disappeared. I could hear muffled steps somewhere behind me, but when I turned my light could not shine forth far enough to reveal who approached.
    From the depth of the dark it came, and it whispered "I will have you, I will have you like the child.", then it snarled "Before the end I will have you.". Standing now in silence, my hand shook with fright, and sweat rolled down my temples. What I saw were teeth, a drooling mouth hung wide open as the Phantom lunged forward.
    I awoke in my patrol car, an other officer was knocking on my window, and after a brief search of the place we never did find anyone. I still continue to have the dream in which my daughter cries out to me from a dark place, but now I dream of the Phantom too. "Closer I am to having you, so close to being mine." it will say to me, and I feel there is nothing I can do to stop it. My Wife doesn't speak much anymore, she has become like a zombie, but then again so have I. When I look into her eyes I see darkness, lost in a depth that goes deep down, as if something has her from the inside.

The Read

    I found it upstairs tucked in a bedroom closet, not as if it had been forgotten, but ignored. The leather wrapped cover was clearly aged, like an antique, yet the book appeared to have been well handled, treated like a treasure. A face of a wolf embedded into the front stood out to me, catching my eye above all else. Strangely though, a single hand print in the dust held to the book, telling me that recently it had been read, but as if the reader had never let go.

    The first page read "Writings of Julio Varacova", but there was no date, and the following pages revealed no clues as to who the writer was exactly. He wrote various things, sometimes he wrote in Spanish as if the rhythm could only be captured in the language, and it ranged from love stories to nightmares, but none were about him. Sentences comprised experimentally, many times oddly, but they held onto me.
 
    My attention became swallowed, and I did not want to cease reading, as if the book leaned in closely, whispering in my ear like to soon reveal a secret. It only caused me to listen more attentively. So engulfed now that my mind did not linger or drift away, not to the time, the place, or what it was that I had been doing before I began reading. What was it that I was reading?

    I stared outward to my self from within the book, as if all that I was in touch with was my conscious, which was held trapped in the pages of the book. I could see my self, as if another person, but it was me, and my face held nothing but a blank stare, I was hollow. The light began to escape as the book slowly shut it's wide mouth, my mind still caught inside. Whoever this writer was, he certainly knew how to capture the reader.

Ervin M. Amaya

Fallen Watch Tower

High on a hill I lay on rusted steel of a fallen watch tower.

Way up here I feel like a flower nearing the end of it's season, 

and so close to my mind lingers the fact of my body's treason.

I run my fingers through my hair as I wind down,

the unfair truth now drifting away as I incline to a more peaceful place.

The tears dry and what seemed like a frown that would last till the end,

now shifts to form the appearance of a more pleasant face.  

Hours pass as I enjoy the warmth of the sun as my body absorbs it,

but now I feel the discreet chill of a breeze, reminding me of the doom shadow hanging over me.

I was confident that I had won, but now I wish to freeze time so that tomorrow never comes.

Will I open my eyes every waking day to see that my nightmare draws near, or will I lift this sorrow so to dream of the things that chase away my thoughts of the powerful foe?

An unseen criminal slowly smuggling away the gems until there aren't anymore.

For now I will try hard to play my day to a happier song, but sad to say that not long from now will my story reach the part in which the disease steals away my heart.

E.M.A.

The Last Fight

I see fire in the distant, it seems to climb so high.

The armies they roar as their feet pound the ground, 

Now the storm rolls in, the darkness drifts further down,

and they're not far from us now.

I told you all that I would be here for you.

I will lead you, wont leave you, and I will fight by your side.

It's getting closer, don't fear I stand near.

It's getting heavy, I will help you carry the weight.

In the front of the line is where I will be.

Please, trust in me to make the right call.

You will make it, even though you grow weary.

I will pull you, and drag you if I really needed to.

I told you all that I would be here for you.

I will lead you, wont leave you, and I will fight by your side.

It's getting closer, don't fear I stand near.

It's getting heavy, I will help you carry the weight.

In the end, what matters is not what you thought.

In the last stretch, hold true to your word.

In the last fight, I promise I will shine forth as your light.

In the last blow they will know, they should have just turned back.

I told you all that I would be here for you.

I will lead you, wont leave you, and I will fight by your side.

It's getting closer, don't fear I stand near.

It's getting heavy, I will help you carry the weight.

Ervin M. Amaya

                                                                                           Photograph: Alexus S. Kilpack

The Owl In The Stump

Out here in the midst of desert sand, towering stones, and far away from the places we call home, I can see life in such a simple form.

Out here in the long stretch of the sun I forget about time, and the pressure of the things that do not matter which stand in line at my door.

Out here under visible stars I can breathe deep, there are no tears to weep so long as I have your company to keep.

Out there life becomes so difficult and complicated, insomuch that in result we enter our adult years searching for purpose in strange ideas and dark cults.

Out there happiness is confused with money and jewels, now so suddenly the weasel has dug mazes through what matters most, with no concern for you.

Out there we are a mess, scrambling to secure our own, doing whatever possible to place on others large debts so to claim that they owe.

I see it all so clearly now, but I'll do what I can to lead us through, to keep you happy & free.

Ervin M. Amaya

                                                                                           Photograph: Alexus S. Kilpack

Hero

The power unleashed me, like a gift from above released unto me.

This phenomena as a child like a tease to me, but now I'm older, stronger, I could never let go.

The strength phenomenal, I remain anonymous through the shadow, and under the mask.

An owl in the dead of the night, not a single match encountered is a rival to me.

A protector, the one to stay back and fight,

An enforcer, I'll be here to counter the strike,

                                                                Photograph: Alexus S. Kilpack

The responsibility hanging heavy, lost lives slowly tearing me apart side to side.

This constant struggling to be in multiple places at once, only ever is one single chance.

The power consuming, the evil in the dark so overwhelming.

An impeccable thing or the one always at fault, the people always in doubt.

A savior standing over your shoulder, or am I evil's reaper just around the corner?

An indestructible being, but I fear I'm the one that could rip it and bring it all down.

I am what you hope me to be.

I will stand strong for you.

I will always hear you.

I am the hero.     

E.M.A.